Be a loner
That gives you time to wonder,
To search for the truth.
Have holy curiosity
Make your life worth living.
Albert Einstein

What a radical statement this is. I wonder Albert if you would still think this way in our new world of hyper manic social foraging. My heart takes deep rest in your words, and I am reminded of my own true source of connectedness, which is fed by snatches of inner solitude, and time that moves slowly enough to breath in life’s wonder and everyday beauty. To be truly present in it’s simplicity. To hold people dear, but lightly enough so as not to hem them in. Birds have become the most recent object of my affections. My backyard is full of them flitting and chirping, being perfect in sunny tree tops. Lately I get lost in their world with my zoom lens and my mind with it’s many stories is gloriously still. I am a seeker, searching for the place where I am most alive and most connected to my intuitive sensibilities and its little signs about what path to take next. I have a fantasy (or maybe it’s my spiritual ideology) that in the ether of souls, before we are born, a mysterious grandmother ordains each of us with a divine blueprint. Her only advice on how to find it is… “you must trust yourself”. “When you finally embody it, you will know”, she says, “the moon and the stars and the planets will all align, you will take your place in the order of things and everything from then on will be right and perfect. There will be no more self doubt, no more avoiding what you were sent here to do, no more life of convenience or hiding under a bushel. You will step into your most cherished self, you will emanate love and courage, and everything you do will be necessary for a better world because it will have your full inspired attention.”….”Most importantly you will inspire others to do the same, and as each person takes their rightful place, becoming their most cherished selves, the earth’s force field will radiate with more and more light and love . It’s abundant and glorious and”…..you get the picture.

“Righto Gran that sounds easy enough”, is my reply. Jeeze so little did I know.

It’s been a few decades since I was in the ether of souls, and the journey continues. I have approached it with overthinking (part of the problem); talked about it in round about ways, until my words, and their annoying inadequacy tie me in knots; sought counsel from other people, most as confused as me. I’ve scaled back the fantasy to something more achievable, mainly edited out the bit about no more self doubt. I reckon that’s just one humans have to live with…sorry Gran.

I’m following my intuitive sensibilities. I think Albert was onto something, I think the birds are onto something too.